Dear Izzy, wow what a trooper you are! You managed that 30 hour commute so well - your mom and Aunt, well, didn't manage quite so well. But you kept us smiling despite being very, very tired. And you kept the crews and passengers on all three legs of the trek home smiling and entertained. And your grandparents! well, they are SOOOO excited. And they can't stop talking about how beautiful and smart and funny you are. So thank you sweet Izzy Thu Thi for making this holiday a perfect gift.
And thank you so much to those of you who have followed any or all of this journey. I did not do nearly as good a job documenting it as I had planned. But I came downstairs this morning at about 3:30 am DC time (with Izzy who was quite confident it was morning) to see her Bac Doo (Aunt Debbie) typing away. Debbie documented the journey beautifully and so I share it below. Thank you for sharing in this story and for welcoming Izzy with such wide and open arms.
-----Original Message-----
From: Debbie Stern [mailto:debbiestern@mac.com] Sent: Tuesday, December 25, 2007 4:19 ;
Subject: Izzy's home!
Hi, everyone. It's around 1:00 am in DC. 1:00pm in Vietnam, 2:00 pm in Hong Kong, and 10 pm in LA. I am wide awake, as I have no idea what time it is in my body, and thought I'd take this opportunity to hop on my sister's computer and share some thoughts and experiences from our trip to Vietnam to bring my niece, Izzy, home to the US and Washington, DC.
I hope you won't mind some repetition here ... I am sure I've said some of this in previous emails, but am using this as a form of a journal for myself, too. I also know it's WAY longer than etiquette dictates, so forgive on both!
As you know, Ruth and I traveled to HCMC/Saigon from LA two weeks ago. It seems like a lifetime, and it's hard to believe that just 8 days ago, Ruth got her giving and receiving (G&R) date. Within a week, Ruth flew to LA from DC, met me at LAX, where we connected with Kim Hettel and her parents, Kay and Al, from Alabama, to board a 15 hour flight to Hong Kong. Kim and her parents are lovely people, and Kim and Ruth had become good friends via email and phone calls since beginning the process of adopting their children. Kim's little 9 month old baby is Isaac. (Kay began calling him Isy, thus creating Izzy and Isy). Kim and Ruth met face to face for the first time at the airport in LA.
We changed planes in HK and flew to HCMC (still called Saigon by many), arriving mid-morning. A couple of Dillon staff members met us at the airport, and brought us to the REX hotel. We got settled, then ventured across the street to the tax center - a small, 4 story mall with a grocery store on level 2, and tons of silk clothing, jewelry, shoes, etc., everywhere else. Venturing across the street in Hanoi and HCMC is an understatement - pedestrians have no right of way, and cars, bikes and mopeds come from every possible direction. You are expected to step out, choose your moment wisely, and walk as if you hadn't a care in the world across the equivalent of 3-4 lanes of traffic. Yet there are no lanes, and even red lights seem not to mean stop where you anticipate motorized vehicles would stop. Show no fear, don't slow down and wait ... you'll never get across. Amazingly, we all returned home to the states, so it's doable, and gets easier and less heart-stopping with every experience! That same venture across the street took on a whole new meaning with babies!
That first night in HCMC, we all went to a Vietname restaurant a couple blocks away called Lemon Grass. Bland, fair - not our favorite. Restaurants recommended by the hotels tend to be what they imagine tourists want - not spicy, simple menus, forks provided. Ruth and I continually wanted something more authentic, and we did have a few meals while in Vietnam that fit the bill.
The next morning, we all met in the restaurant at the REX to take advantage of the fantastic breakfast buffet included with our rooms. Many Vietnamese traditions, lots of wonderful fresh fruit, juices, breads, an omelet bar. During our time in HCMC, we made breakfast a very important meal, as it was often just breakfast and dinner. That morning, we met Susan and George, her brother. Susan adopted Teo, a beautiful 13 month old little boy. They live in New Mexico, and are terrific people. George and his wife have two daughters, one adopted from China, so George had been through a similar experience 6 years before. One more family, Jessica and Michael, who were adopting Emaline (6 months) joined us late that night in Ninh Thuan, as there flight via Thailand was delayed.
After breakfast, about 7:30am, our group of 7 adults joined Phuong, a Dillon staff member in Vietnam, to make the 7 hour drive to Ninh Thuan, where Izzy spent the first nearly 7 months of her life. The drive is very interesting, with the last hour along the ocean. We stopped midway for lunch and the use of the squatty potty, before arriving at our hotel in Ninh Thuan. By this time, everyone was anticipating and a little nervous and excited. We settled in and left 20 minutes later to make the 15 minute drive to the orphanage.
We turned the corner to make the drive up to the front. I think we all thought it would take a minute or two, but 10 seconds after turning that corner, there we were. We looked up to the second floor balcony, outside of the room where the babies slept, and there was Izzy! Her nanny was holding her. She was wide awake, and appeared quite serious. (We've since discovered, that she is anything but a serious kid, though she does have her pensive moments)!
We all made our way up the stairs, bringing a bag of stuffed animals two little girls Ruth knows had donated, along with some games and toys, and Ruth met Izzy for the first time. I held the video camera, and tried to keep my eyes from misting over to the point that I would not be able to see through the view finder. I find even as I type this nearly 2 weeks later, that I well up. I'm not sure I have the words to describe this experience. Izzy is not my daughter, so imagine Ruth's emotions running 10x my own. The minute Ruth got a referral and a picture of Izzy as a tiny few week old baby, I loved her. Seeing her for the first time, there is an overwhelming depth of love and emotion.
The other families met Isaac and Teo, and all of us interacted for a couple of hours with the babies and toddlers, and a few of the older children living at the orphanage. One little boy, who I've nicknamed "Linebacker" wanted so much to hold my hand and show me all over. His strength and charm made it impossible not to let him lead me wherever he wished! I did ask about his future, and was told that his family was coming for him next month. My heart settled a little bit after that.
We left the center (orphanage) and returned to our hotel. I had a not very good $5 massage, without the offer of benefits the gents received! Hmmm. Dinner in the hotel restaurant followed, and we went to bed, as the next day would be the biggest and most important of all. I started it at 5am with a beach walk with Phuong ... what a gorgeous setting. Aside from losing my flip flops along the way, it was a fantastic way to begin an amazing day.
In the am, now joined by Michael and Jessica, Phuong and the driver took us back to the center to meet the director and have a chat about life at the center, and the children's futures with their families in America, leave gifts, and pick up the children to take them to the G&R held in the government office a few minutes away. Ruth's nanny had written a very special note for Ruth about Izzy, and Ruth will have it officially translated so she fully understands its beautiful sentiment.
Ruth held Izzy on her lap in the van. We were escorted to a small room with a large rectangular table. We all took seats, and two officials joined us. About an hour later, papers had been signed, speeches given, and pictures taken, and the children officially left the orphanage to accompany us back to the hotel. When we arrived, the power was out. It's quite hot and humid. :o) Ruth and I eventually decided to walk the four flights up to our room. That first day with Izzy was rather surreal. I don't think it really sunk in. I can't recall if I just thought it or if I said to Ruth, "Can you believe it? Does it feel real?" We played with her, then took her to the beach and the pool, and finally some of us met for dinner. A very different experience than the night before. Ruth and I got into sort of a routine, where one of us would hold and play with Izzy while the other ate, or Ruth would put her in her baby bjorn and eat holding her if she was sleeping. This trip was very good for weight loss! :o)
The next day, after a fairly sleepless night (Ruth slept with Izzy in one bed, and I slept in the bed next to them), we began our drive back to HCMC - a very different journey than two days prior! The kids were great - no major meltdowns, a few diaper changes, and a zillion camera flashes. We stopped again for lunch, and finally got back in the late afternoon. Aside from Michael and Jessica and Emaline, the rest of us went to Vietnam House, for a delicious, far more authentic Vietnamese meal. In Vietnam, children are so loved. People literally come to you on the street to look at your child, ask about them, adjust their clothing, offer unsolicited advice about how they should be dressed, and to take them from your arms to hold and play with. At first, this is very disconcerting. After a couple days, particularly while you are shopping or eating, you can't wait for that to happen, and wonder why they bring your child back so quickly! Not really, but it's very freeing for a few minutes. Ruth mostly carried Izzy in the bjorn, partially as it was easier, and also to keep anyone on the street from pulling her out of Ruth's arms! In an art gallery in Hanoi, where Ruth purchased two fabulous pieces of art, the gallery manager made Ruth undo the bjorn and lift out sleeping Izzy so she could hold her. The same gallery also cleared the coffee table of art books so that we could change Izzy!
HCMC was filled with appointments, with and without the babies. The parents went to apply for the children's passports, then we walked a few blocks to have their pp pics taken. Minh took George, Kay, Michael and me across the street to the Vietnam airlines office to get our tickets for Hanoi. The process took 15-20 minutes per person, so I had a chance to have a wonderful conversation with Minh about his 6 year old daughter, and about life in Vietnam. One afternoon, we all went to the local health clinic for mandatory health checks for the babies. I'd say this is only point in the trip where I got annoyed. The clinic was filled with very sick people, it was quite crowded, very hot, and although the whole process took about 90 minutes, we didn't know how long we'd have to wait. We were all a bit stressed out after leaving that appointment. The kids were great, though, and I think Izzy may have even flirted with the doctor!
George, Susan and Teo joined Ruth, Izzy and me to walk a half mile down to another "mall" shopping experience. There, you could bargain, and we did. It's tough maneuvering through tiny passageways and crowded streets and stalls with a baby, so we worked quickly, and for not nearly as long as we would without Izzy. Everyone stopped Ruth to ask "boy or girl" (they pierce babies ears when they are tiny, and as Izzy's aren't, they can't tell yet). They also asked "Vietnamese?, along with other questions - her age, etc.
Our last HCMC night, the Dillon staff took us to a fantastic restaurant in a very interesting part of the city. This trip, of course, was not a sightseeing trip, but we tried to have some experiences away from the hotel area. At the restaurant, the staff took turns holding the babies so we would be able to eat and talk. The food was delicious, and with instructions I received from Minh, one of the Dillon staff, I'll try to recreate one shrimp dish. I'll let you know how I do!
We flew from HCMC to Hanoi on Tuesday night, arriving in Hanoi after a 2 hour flight to be told it was an hour drive to the hotel! We all nearly had a melt down, but we did survive.
Hanoi is quite different from HCMC. It's far north, so much cooler, far less humidity, and rather drizzly and grey. It's older feeling, and not as friendly and lively and happy as HCMC, but quite interesting, and also with lovely parts. Our hotel was right on top of the Hanoi HIlton (prison where McCain spent 7 years), although with every good intention, I never made it inside for a tour.
We spent 5 days in Hanoi, and each day would walk all over, shopping, exploring, and providing lots of time to get to know Izzy. With each passing day she began to recognize her mommy and her aunt, and although social and happy and delighted to get attention from others, eventually reaching back for more familiar territory. The more nights Ruth spent with her (in HCMC and Hanoi, I had my own bedroom in our suite, so made it a habit not to be involved during night sleeping hours ... tough on Ruth, but important), Izzy began to distinguish between mommy and aunt (Boc, as she'll call me, perhaps).
One night all of us attended the water puppet show, a much touted experience in every Hanoi guide book, and by many others who'd traveled before us. I will simply say that if your child is about 3 or 4, go for it. We didn't exactly get the charm, but it is a rare phenomenum, so if you are into experience for experience sake, okay. :o) The 6 or 7 year old behind us asked he woman she was with when the show would be over. About 10 minutes in. Hmmm.
One morning in Hanoi, Ruth and I sat at breakfast in the restaurant of our hotel (Jaspaas) next to a family of four - parents and a teenage son and daughter (16 and 19) from Australia. They were traveling all over Vietnam, and had a guide with them we later used to help us book a trip to Ha Long Bay. The family was lovely. They shared that both the kids were adopted as infants, and Ruth and Sue talked a bit about the experience. I got their contact info, and Ruth will email them about Izzy and who knows ... maybe one day visit them in Australia!
Their guide works for a high-end tourist company, arranging trips for touring Vietnam. Through the company, we were put in touch with Gnoc (pronounced Nock), who arranged to take us to Ha Long bay on our final full day in Hanoi. So Saturday, Sue, George, Teo, Ruth, Izzy and I boarded a small van to make the nearly 3 hour drive. Michael and Jessica and Emaline went as well, though on a separate trip. Isaac was sick, so the Hettel family stayed back in Hanoi.
Ha Long is one of the wonders of the world and a heritage sight. It's an incredible bay filled with thousands of tiny islands, and two huge, many thousand year old caves! We boarded a Junk boat, and went to explore the first cave. We pulled up to the slipperiest, narrowest, steepest stairs along the water, and climbed, with babies, to the top of this cliff to see the inside of the caves. We were all hesitant, and would have regretted it so had we not gone. The cave was discovered only 25 years ago, and was pathed to allow tourism, and lit to show the amazing detail. I took a bunch of video and some stills, but am not sure I was able to really give a picture of what this was like. Well worth the climb and the life-threatening method of getting off the boat!
When we reboarded, we began boating along the bay. It was very misty and cool - like Scotland in winter - and quite magical. A white linen table cloth covered one table, and we were asked to sit down for a seafood lunch. And then ... get this ... the babies were taken from us ... for nearly 2 hours! The boat staff played with them, entertained them, and allowed the four of us to have one of the most amazing meals we'd ever had. Fresh crab and peel and eat shrimp were brought to the table, wine was opened ( a fantastic red, and I don' t even drink much wine), and we thought, okay, fresh and yummy -simple, not too much, we'll want a good dinner when we return to Hanoi ... but the food kept coming. They prepared special vegetarian spring rolls, rice, eggs, and a french fries for George, and brought out a whole steamed fish, calamari, spring rolls and fruit for all of us. We were stuffed! A couple of the women had jewelry and silks to sell, so we each bought something - more to be polite as we were rather shopped out. The trip was incredible, Gnoc was a great guide, and you must do Ha Long Bay when you visit Vietnam.
The traffic heading back was bad, and the ride long, but we made it and began to pack to leave. On Sunday, we left our bags in Susan and George's room, as they left later than we did, and ventured out for one last shopping trip. Ruth and I found Vietnamese/English children's books for Izzy, and a wonderful CD of Vietnamese lullabies Gnoc had told us about. We ran out of time, so headed back to hotel, where we ran into a group from Ireland who were in the midst of their process. Mia was a 5 month old little girl one family had - very cute, and the families were lovely. It's a different adoption process country to country. In fact, in the Hanoi airport, Ruth talked briefly with a woman from France who'd come to Vietname for three weeks just to build relationships, as the French are not able to adopt any other way. She was obviously touched, yet a little sad, seeing Ruth with Izzy. We both felt for her.
Hanoi to Hong Kong. Not a bad flight - and just 90 minutes. Two hours in Hong Kong. 11+ hours HK to LA. Izzy slept nearly the whole time! Lots of little wake ups to diaper change and eat. We had basinette seats - bulkheads with a large fold down wall tray that holds a little basinette. It was great for such a long haul. She really did amazingly well, playing in the basinette when she wasn't sleeping. Of course, Ruth and I got maybe 2 hours sleep total, but it was more important Izzy be rested.
In LA, the kids went through customs. They became American citizens! It happened so quickly and casually, it was a bit anti-climatic, but quite exciting, and another moment of misty eyes! We collected our bags, and Ruth and I walked from the international terminal to American Airlines with Kim, her folks and Isaac, and said goodbye. Saying goodbyes in Hanoi to George and Susan and Teo, and then in LA, was hard. The experience was such a bonding one, and everything happens so quickly, especially with the children, so there is little time to process.
3 hours in LA, then another 5 aboard United's red-eye to Dulles in DC. On board, Izzy slept the first three, and two of the wonderful flight attendants allowed Ruth and Izzy and me to hang out back in the galley with them the last portion. They held and played with Izzy. One of the women's sister had three children adopted from China - now teens. They were terrific, and made the final plane time go by quickly and smoothly. On none of the flights did Izzy have ear problems, or really lose it. She was such a trooper! She made it worth sitting in the middle seat for all those hours!
As we walked toward baggage at Dulles, Ruth holding Izzy, Ruth looked at me as tears began to flow. Mom, Dad, and four of Ruth's friends met us at the airport. Mom and Ruth cried as Izzy was introduced to her grandma and grandpa. Again, I was the videographer, so you can't see my misty eyes. It was a surreal moment. So many months - since August of '06 when Ruth first told me, and then our parents, that she was beginning the process of adopting a baby. July 2, 2007 when Ruth woke me early on a Saturday morning, saying "You've got Izzy!" Pictures, and a referral, of her daughter, my niece. Months of waiting, wondering, having rules and laws change, not knowing how it would effect the process, then boom! Three weeks and a day ago, on the first night of Chanukah, Ruth called me as I drove to school that Monday morning, to tell me we would have the G&R Friday, Dec. 14th! A week later, we left, and you know the rest. It's been such an incredible journey - but, of course, the journey is really just beginning. I tease Ruth and say I have the best of both worlds. I'm the cool aunt - across the country. I get to be the one she calls to complain about mommy, and then I get to give her back when I want down time. I can't imagine, though, not wanting to spend every moment with her. When I leave DC on the morning of the 30th, I know it will be so difficult. I am so thrilled my sister asked me to accompany her to Vietnam. It was an indescribable experience, one we'll share again and again with Izzy so that our memories become her stories.
Yesterday, watching Izzy play with Ruth's friends, and then eat and play with her grandma and grandpa, was incredible. They, of course, are in love with her. Not to be biased, or anything, but at 7 months, Izzy is super smart, funny, strong as can be, inquisitive, healthy (great set of lungs)!, and an absolute joy. I know I'll be accumlating miles in the air! And one day, she'll come spend some time all by herself with her Boc Doo (Aunt Debbie - we found out Chi means older sister, but Boc is aunt to a child).
I hear her upstairs - but it's sleeping time, so I'm just listening. There will be adjusting, as there would be with any new child in a family, but Ruth is already a great parent, so in love with her daughter. I can't wait to watch Izzy grow up - even though it means we'll get older, too!
Well, it's about 3:30am now, and Ruth and Izzy just appeared. Izzy's best time is in the morning - she's so smiley and giggly and excited to play. Guess what ... she thinks it is morning now! I'm going to go play with my niece. I'll sleep when I'm dead, as Brigitta, in Salzburg told me. There are more important things in life. Misty eyes!
With love and thanks for your support and interest. I can't wait for you to meet Izzy one day. You'll fall in love, too!
Debbie
Hi, everyone. It's around 1:00 am in DC. 1:00pm in Vietnam, 2:00 pm in Hong Kong, and 10 pm in LA. I am wide awake, as I have no idea what time it is in my body, and thought I'd take this opportunity to hop on my sister's computer and share some thoughts and experiences from our trip to Vietnam to bring my niece, Izzy, home to the US and Washington, DC.
I hope you won't mind some repetition here ... I am sure I've said some of this in previous emails, but am using this as a form of a journal for myself, too. I also know it's WAY longer than etiquette dictates, so forgive on both!
As you know, Ruth and I traveled to HCMC/Saigon from LA two weeks ago. It seems like a lifetime, and it's hard to believe that just 8 days ago, Ruth got her giving and receiving (G&R) date. Within a week, Ruth flew to LA from DC, met me at LAX, where we connected with Kim Hettel and her parents, Kay and Al, from Alabama, to board a 15 hour flight to Hong Kong. Kim and her parents are lovely people, and Kim and Ruth had become good friends via email and phone calls since beginning the process of adopting their children. Kim's little 9 month old baby is Isaac. (Kay began calling him Isy, thus creating Izzy and Isy). Kim and Ruth met face to face for the first time at the airport in LA.
We changed planes in HK and flew to HCMC (still called Saigon by many), arriving mid-morning. A couple of Dillon staff members met us at the airport, and brought us to the REX hotel. We got settled, then ventured across the street to the tax center - a small, 4 story mall with a grocery store on level 2, and tons of silk clothing, jewelry, shoes, etc., everywhere else. Venturing across the street in Hanoi and HCMC is an understatement - pedestrians have no right of way, and cars, bikes and mopeds come from every possible direction. You are expected to step out, choose your moment wisely, and walk as if you hadn't a care in the world across the equivalent of 3-4 lanes of traffic. Yet there are no lanes, and even red lights seem not to mean stop where you anticipate motorized vehicles would stop. Show no fear, don't slow down and wait ... you'll never get across. Amazingly, we all returned home to the states, so it's doable, and gets easier and less heart-stopping with every experience! That same venture across the street took on a whole new meaning with babies!
That first night in HCMC, we all went to a Vietname restaurant a couple blocks away called Lemon Grass. Bland, fair - not our favorite. Restaurants recommended by the hotels tend to be what they imagine tourists want - not spicy, simple menus, forks provided. Ruth and I continually wanted something more authentic, and we did have a few meals while in Vietnam that fit the bill.
The next morning, we all met in the restaurant at the REX to take advantage of the fantastic breakfast buffet included with our rooms. Many Vietnamese traditions, lots of wonderful fresh fruit, juices, breads, an omelet bar. During our time in HCMC, we made breakfast a very important meal, as it was often just breakfast and dinner. That morning, we met Susan and George, her brother. Susan adopted Teo, a beautiful 13 month old little boy. They live in New Mexico, and are terrific people. George and his wife have two daughters, one adopted from China, so George had been through a similar experience 6 years before. One more family, Jessica and Michael, who were adopting Emaline (6 months) joined us late that night in Ninh Thuan, as there flight via Thailand was delayed.
After breakfast, about 7:30am, our group of 7 adults joined Phuong, a Dillon staff member in Vietnam, to make the 7 hour drive to Ninh Thuan, where Izzy spent the first nearly 7 months of her life. The drive is very interesting, with the last hour along the ocean. We stopped midway for lunch and the use of the squatty potty, before arriving at our hotel in Ninh Thuan. By this time, everyone was anticipating and a little nervous and excited. We settled in and left 20 minutes later to make the 15 minute drive to the orphanage.
We turned the corner to make the drive up to the front. I think we all thought it would take a minute or two, but 10 seconds after turning that corner, there we were. We looked up to the second floor balcony, outside of the room where the babies slept, and there was Izzy! Her nanny was holding her. She was wide awake, and appeared quite serious. (We've since discovered, that she is anything but a serious kid, though she does have her pensive moments)!
We all made our way up the stairs, bringing a bag of stuffed animals two little girls Ruth knows had donated, along with some games and toys, and Ruth met Izzy for the first time. I held the video camera, and tried to keep my eyes from misting over to the point that I would not be able to see through the view finder. I find even as I type this nearly 2 weeks later, that I well up. I'm not sure I have the words to describe this experience. Izzy is not my daughter, so imagine Ruth's emotions running 10x my own. The minute Ruth got a referral and a picture of Izzy as a tiny few week old baby, I loved her. Seeing her for the first time, there is an overwhelming depth of love and emotion.
The other families met Isaac and Teo, and all of us interacted for a couple of hours with the babies and toddlers, and a few of the older children living at the orphanage. One little boy, who I've nicknamed "Linebacker" wanted so much to hold my hand and show me all over. His strength and charm made it impossible not to let him lead me wherever he wished! I did ask about his future, and was told that his family was coming for him next month. My heart settled a little bit after that.
We left the center (orphanage) and returned to our hotel. I had a not very good $5 massage, without the offer of benefits the gents received! Hmmm. Dinner in the hotel restaurant followed, and we went to bed, as the next day would be the biggest and most important of all. I started it at 5am with a beach walk with Phuong ... what a gorgeous setting. Aside from losing my flip flops along the way, it was a fantastic way to begin an amazing day.
In the am, now joined by Michael and Jessica, Phuong and the driver took us back to the center to meet the director and have a chat about life at the center, and the children's futures with their families in America, leave gifts, and pick up the children to take them to the G&R held in the government office a few minutes away. Ruth's nanny had written a very special note for Ruth about Izzy, and Ruth will have it officially translated so she fully understands its beautiful sentiment.
Ruth held Izzy on her lap in the van. We were escorted to a small room with a large rectangular table. We all took seats, and two officials joined us. About an hour later, papers had been signed, speeches given, and pictures taken, and the children officially left the orphanage to accompany us back to the hotel. When we arrived, the power was out. It's quite hot and humid. :o) Ruth and I eventually decided to walk the four flights up to our room. That first day with Izzy was rather surreal. I don't think it really sunk in. I can't recall if I just thought it or if I said to Ruth, "Can you believe it? Does it feel real?" We played with her, then took her to the beach and the pool, and finally some of us met for dinner. A very different experience than the night before. Ruth and I got into sort of a routine, where one of us would hold and play with Izzy while the other ate, or Ruth would put her in her baby bjorn and eat holding her if she was sleeping. This trip was very good for weight loss! :o)
The next day, after a fairly sleepless night (Ruth slept with Izzy in one bed, and I slept in the bed next to them), we began our drive back to HCMC - a very different journey than two days prior! The kids were great - no major meltdowns, a few diaper changes, and a zillion camera flashes. We stopped again for lunch, and finally got back in the late afternoon. Aside from Michael and Jessica and Emaline, the rest of us went to Vietnam House, for a delicious, far more authentic Vietnamese meal. In Vietnam, children are so loved. People literally come to you on the street to look at your child, ask about them, adjust their clothing, offer unsolicited advice about how they should be dressed, and to take them from your arms to hold and play with. At first, this is very disconcerting. After a couple days, particularly while you are shopping or eating, you can't wait for that to happen, and wonder why they bring your child back so quickly! Not really, but it's very freeing for a few minutes. Ruth mostly carried Izzy in the bjorn, partially as it was easier, and also to keep anyone on the street from pulling her out of Ruth's arms! In an art gallery in Hanoi, where Ruth purchased two fabulous pieces of art, the gallery manager made Ruth undo the bjorn and lift out sleeping Izzy so she could hold her. The same gallery also cleared the coffee table of art books so that we could change Izzy!
HCMC was filled with appointments, with and without the babies. The parents went to apply for the children's passports, then we walked a few blocks to have their pp pics taken. Minh took George, Kay, Michael and me across the street to the Vietnam airlines office to get our tickets for Hanoi. The process took 15-20 minutes per person, so I had a chance to have a wonderful conversation with Minh about his 6 year old daughter, and about life in Vietnam. One afternoon, we all went to the local health clinic for mandatory health checks for the babies. I'd say this is only point in the trip where I got annoyed. The clinic was filled with very sick people, it was quite crowded, very hot, and although the whole process took about 90 minutes, we didn't know how long we'd have to wait. We were all a bit stressed out after leaving that appointment. The kids were great, though, and I think Izzy may have even flirted with the doctor!
George, Susan and Teo joined Ruth, Izzy and me to walk a half mile down to another "mall" shopping experience. There, you could bargain, and we did. It's tough maneuvering through tiny passageways and crowded streets and stalls with a baby, so we worked quickly, and for not nearly as long as we would without Izzy. Everyone stopped Ruth to ask "boy or girl" (they pierce babies ears when they are tiny, and as Izzy's aren't, they can't tell yet). They also asked "Vietnamese?, along with other questions - her age, etc.
Our last HCMC night, the Dillon staff took us to a fantastic restaurant in a very interesting part of the city. This trip, of course, was not a sightseeing trip, but we tried to have some experiences away from the hotel area. At the restaurant, the staff took turns holding the babies so we would be able to eat and talk. The food was delicious, and with instructions I received from Minh, one of the Dillon staff, I'll try to recreate one shrimp dish. I'll let you know how I do!
We flew from HCMC to Hanoi on Tuesday night, arriving in Hanoi after a 2 hour flight to be told it was an hour drive to the hotel! We all nearly had a melt down, but we did survive.
Hanoi is quite different from HCMC. It's far north, so much cooler, far less humidity, and rather drizzly and grey. It's older feeling, and not as friendly and lively and happy as HCMC, but quite interesting, and also with lovely parts. Our hotel was right on top of the Hanoi HIlton (prison where McCain spent 7 years), although with every good intention, I never made it inside for a tour.
We spent 5 days in Hanoi, and each day would walk all over, shopping, exploring, and providing lots of time to get to know Izzy. With each passing day she began to recognize her mommy and her aunt, and although social and happy and delighted to get attention from others, eventually reaching back for more familiar territory. The more nights Ruth spent with her (in HCMC and Hanoi, I had my own bedroom in our suite, so made it a habit not to be involved during night sleeping hours ... tough on Ruth, but important), Izzy began to distinguish between mommy and aunt (Boc, as she'll call me, perhaps).
One night all of us attended the water puppet show, a much touted experience in every Hanoi guide book, and by many others who'd traveled before us. I will simply say that if your child is about 3 or 4, go for it. We didn't exactly get the charm, but it is a rare phenomenum, so if you are into experience for experience sake, okay. :o) The 6 or 7 year old behind us asked he woman she was with when the show would be over. About 10 minutes in. Hmmm.
One morning in Hanoi, Ruth and I sat at breakfast in the restaurant of our hotel (Jaspaas) next to a family of four - parents and a teenage son and daughter (16 and 19) from Australia. They were traveling all over Vietnam, and had a guide with them we later used to help us book a trip to Ha Long Bay. The family was lovely. They shared that both the kids were adopted as infants, and Ruth and Sue talked a bit about the experience. I got their contact info, and Ruth will email them about Izzy and who knows ... maybe one day visit them in Australia!
Their guide works for a high-end tourist company, arranging trips for touring Vietnam. Through the company, we were put in touch with Gnoc (pronounced Nock), who arranged to take us to Ha Long bay on our final full day in Hanoi. So Saturday, Sue, George, Teo, Ruth, Izzy and I boarded a small van to make the nearly 3 hour drive. Michael and Jessica and Emaline went as well, though on a separate trip. Isaac was sick, so the Hettel family stayed back in Hanoi.
Ha Long is one of the wonders of the world and a heritage sight. It's an incredible bay filled with thousands of tiny islands, and two huge, many thousand year old caves! We boarded a Junk boat, and went to explore the first cave. We pulled up to the slipperiest, narrowest, steepest stairs along the water, and climbed, with babies, to the top of this cliff to see the inside of the caves. We were all hesitant, and would have regretted it so had we not gone. The cave was discovered only 25 years ago, and was pathed to allow tourism, and lit to show the amazing detail. I took a bunch of video and some stills, but am not sure I was able to really give a picture of what this was like. Well worth the climb and the life-threatening method of getting off the boat!
When we reboarded, we began boating along the bay. It was very misty and cool - like Scotland in winter - and quite magical. A white linen table cloth covered one table, and we were asked to sit down for a seafood lunch. And then ... get this ... the babies were taken from us ... for nearly 2 hours! The boat staff played with them, entertained them, and allowed the four of us to have one of the most amazing meals we'd ever had. Fresh crab and peel and eat shrimp were brought to the table, wine was opened ( a fantastic red, and I don' t even drink much wine), and we thought, okay, fresh and yummy -simple, not too much, we'll want a good dinner when we return to Hanoi ... but the food kept coming. They prepared special vegetarian spring rolls, rice, eggs, and a french fries for George, and brought out a whole steamed fish, calamari, spring rolls and fruit for all of us. We were stuffed! A couple of the women had jewelry and silks to sell, so we each bought something - more to be polite as we were rather shopped out. The trip was incredible, Gnoc was a great guide, and you must do Ha Long Bay when you visit Vietnam.
The traffic heading back was bad, and the ride long, but we made it and began to pack to leave. On Sunday, we left our bags in Susan and George's room, as they left later than we did, and ventured out for one last shopping trip. Ruth and I found Vietnamese/English children's books for Izzy, and a wonderful CD of Vietnamese lullabies Gnoc had told us about. We ran out of time, so headed back to hotel, where we ran into a group from Ireland who were in the midst of their process. Mia was a 5 month old little girl one family had - very cute, and the families were lovely. It's a different adoption process country to country. In fact, in the Hanoi airport, Ruth talked briefly with a woman from France who'd come to Vietname for three weeks just to build relationships, as the French are not able to adopt any other way. She was obviously touched, yet a little sad, seeing Ruth with Izzy. We both felt for her.
Hanoi to Hong Kong. Not a bad flight - and just 90 minutes. Two hours in Hong Kong. 11+ hours HK to LA. Izzy slept nearly the whole time! Lots of little wake ups to diaper change and eat. We had basinette seats - bulkheads with a large fold down wall tray that holds a little basinette. It was great for such a long haul. She really did amazingly well, playing in the basinette when she wasn't sleeping. Of course, Ruth and I got maybe 2 hours sleep total, but it was more important Izzy be rested.
In LA, the kids went through customs. They became American citizens! It happened so quickly and casually, it was a bit anti-climatic, but quite exciting, and another moment of misty eyes! We collected our bags, and Ruth and I walked from the international terminal to American Airlines with Kim, her folks and Isaac, and said goodbye. Saying goodbyes in Hanoi to George and Susan and Teo, and then in LA, was hard. The experience was such a bonding one, and everything happens so quickly, especially with the children, so there is little time to process.
3 hours in LA, then another 5 aboard United's red-eye to Dulles in DC. On board, Izzy slept the first three, and two of the wonderful flight attendants allowed Ruth and Izzy and me to hang out back in the galley with them the last portion. They held and played with Izzy. One of the women's sister had three children adopted from China - now teens. They were terrific, and made the final plane time go by quickly and smoothly. On none of the flights did Izzy have ear problems, or really lose it. She was such a trooper! She made it worth sitting in the middle seat for all those hours!
As we walked toward baggage at Dulles, Ruth holding Izzy, Ruth looked at me as tears began to flow. Mom, Dad, and four of Ruth's friends met us at the airport. Mom and Ruth cried as Izzy was introduced to her grandma and grandpa. Again, I was the videographer, so you can't see my misty eyes. It was a surreal moment. So many months - since August of '06 when Ruth first told me, and then our parents, that she was beginning the process of adopting a baby. July 2, 2007 when Ruth woke me early on a Saturday morning, saying "You've got Izzy!" Pictures, and a referral, of her daughter, my niece. Months of waiting, wondering, having rules and laws change, not knowing how it would effect the process, then boom! Three weeks and a day ago, on the first night of Chanukah, Ruth called me as I drove to school that Monday morning, to tell me we would have the G&R Friday, Dec. 14th! A week later, we left, and you know the rest. It's been such an incredible journey - but, of course, the journey is really just beginning. I tease Ruth and say I have the best of both worlds. I'm the cool aunt - across the country. I get to be the one she calls to complain about mommy, and then I get to give her back when I want down time. I can't imagine, though, not wanting to spend every moment with her. When I leave DC on the morning of the 30th, I know it will be so difficult. I am so thrilled my sister asked me to accompany her to Vietnam. It was an indescribable experience, one we'll share again and again with Izzy so that our memories become her stories.
Yesterday, watching Izzy play with Ruth's friends, and then eat and play with her grandma and grandpa, was incredible. They, of course, are in love with her. Not to be biased, or anything, but at 7 months, Izzy is super smart, funny, strong as can be, inquisitive, healthy (great set of lungs)!, and an absolute joy. I know I'll be accumlating miles in the air! And one day, she'll come spend some time all by herself with her Boc Doo (Aunt Debbie - we found out Chi means older sister, but Boc is aunt to a child).
I hear her upstairs - but it's sleeping time, so I'm just listening. There will be adjusting, as there would be with any new child in a family, but Ruth is already a great parent, so in love with her daughter. I can't wait to watch Izzy grow up - even though it means we'll get older, too!
Well, it's about 3:30am now, and Ruth and Izzy just appeared. Izzy's best time is in the morning - she's so smiley and giggly and excited to play. Guess what ... she thinks it is morning now! I'm going to go play with my niece. I'll sleep when I'm dead, as Brigitta, in Salzburg told me. There are more important things in life. Misty eyes!
With love and thanks for your support and interest. I can't wait for you to meet Izzy one day. You'll fall in love, too!
Debbie
